Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
