His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Drunk is a universal language darling
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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