he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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