Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
