): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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