so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
