my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we're making bets on your personal life
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
