Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
