That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
