so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
