He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We need a shit load of segways right now
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
