You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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