I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
