Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
