Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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