"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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