The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
