yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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