Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is Oprah even human
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
