do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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