She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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