i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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