My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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