sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
