dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
