Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
