I think I died a long time ago.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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