Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
worst night to have a conscience
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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