So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
