he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
