you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
