Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
