I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
