He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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