i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
