so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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