singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
