Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
