the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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