Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
