This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I will be naked everywhere
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
