Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
