it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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