And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
