No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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