I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My vagina just clenched in fear
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
