what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
