Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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