dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
