i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
