So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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